The Californian Garmo Lives Life

My Life as a gay Armenian-American living in California.

What?! December 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 8:41 am

Hey Everyone! It has been FOREVER since I posted anything on here. I’ve been working on a VERY exciting new projecct! I am starting up a new blog on my new website! Naturally it has taken me a while to get everything set up as I designed and did everything myself, but it should be coming online soon. This blog will stay active for ‘personal’ entries, while my new blog will be more of a political/news slant to it. You can find my new blog at:

thecaligarmo.com

Nothing is going to be released until 01/01/09

You better be as excited as me! Ccause I just can’t wait! This new blog will be updated at least once per day (assuming I have content to add) and will have news from either the LGBT front in Armenia or California with an occasional additional story.

*muah* Love you all!

-The Cali Garmo

 

Quick Post August 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 7:04 pm

Hey everyone!

So I know I have been very very bad with posting very recently, but I SWEAR that I have been EXTREMELY busy with life and everything. I am also creating a new space for my blog since blogger is not allowing me the functionality that I need for my blog. It also forces me to accept 3rd party cookies which I really don’t want. So I promise that sometime this week I will get my blog up and running and have my first post on or before next Monday.

Until then,
-Aram the Garmo

 

Travelling April 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 3:00 pm

Sorry for the long break inbetween posts. I am currently in the middle of spring break and so have been travelling and studying so I haven’t had time to update you with information. Today I will be talking about my adventures from the past weeks and the big adventure coming up ahead.

One of the biggest adventures of this break has so far been going to Southport near Liverpool. It’s actually a really cute city with a population of around 100,000 people. I think the best part was how small the gay community was. It allowed all of the young gays to be able to hang out with the older gays. I personally enjoyed this because it allows you to be able to communicate with more mature men that are (hopefully) not only looking for sexual relations. It also was the type of town where everyone seemed to know everyone else just by walking down the street. Even though that can be weird, Southport was also big enough that you can actually disappear in it and have no one notice you.


The reason I went to Southport was in order to visit one of my friends, Roy, and to see another city outside of Leeds in the UK. By doing this I was able to meet some of Roy’s friends. Roy’s friends are very awesome and I was able to enjoy myself with their presence. One of the nights we went out to a club called Underground. It wasn’t my type of music but oddly enough I enjoyed the club very much. I didn’t get up to dance at all, but just sort of relaxed the whole time. It gave me a very comforting feeling to be able to just sit there and relax and not have to dance the whole night away. Another one of the nights we went to a pub called the Crown. The crown had much more of my music, but again I was not really in the complete mood to dance. Although, I did end up dancing, I felt like I did it half heartadly. I must state that Southport did have some attractive men there.

When not clubbing, or sleeping, I felt like I was eating Roy’s mother’s cooking. She is a culinary expert and so her cooking was amazing. I felt like I could not stop eating. That could have been because it was actually true. Her cooking was very good and I literally couldnt stop. I did feel rude though by eating all of their food and so I usually stopped before I was full so that I wouldn’t finish eating all of their supplies. Roy’s family is also very nice and very comforting. It took me a while to get into the way they were and to be able to get the to come out of their shells, but eventually I got to really see them and they were completely amazing and I loved them.

That unfortunately was all I did at Southport. I also had forgotten my camera at home so I didn’t take any pictures unfortunately. But, tomorrow something better is happening. I will be taking my best vacation thus far. I am going to Paris, France! (And yes, I will be taking my camera). So I will be leaving tomorrow for Paris. Expect a huge blog with tons of pictures right when I return.

With Great Anticipation,
-Aram the Garmo

 

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Recollecting the Past March 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 8:10 am

Is it worth it for us to live in the past or should we keep moving forward? Taking our old selves and making a new sense of identity in order to relive life in a new way. To maybe try things again, to start over in a sense. What brought on this idea? I was editing my website (which is shit as it is!) and my first intent was to clean up the poems section. Of course I had to sit and read EVERY poem I had and categorise them so that I can see which ones I actually want to keep on the website. And as I was looking I noticed something pretty cool. I actually had some decent poetry. It is hard to imagine; Aram the mathematical Garmo with no artistic talent has a decent poem? And then I noticed most of the poems were written around the same time and centred around the same subject. I’ll first write them down so you can see them and then I will discuss them.

Bodily Temptations

The eyes of brown,
The hair the same.
His maddened looks
Drive me insane.
His cool caress,
Those arms of steel,
His nice warm touch,
As if unreal.
The sweetest voice,
The nicest song.
The nicest dressed.
For dancing long,
The finest feet.
The craziest mind.
And in the end,
I may have him.

Stars

Look at the stars,
Aren’t they far?
Can you believe
That they can be sought?
We can go hold them,
We can go touch them,
We can achieve them.
But some just cant jump.
I have been jumping
Up to the sky
Trying to reach
The stars very high.
Today I jumped
In a brand new way,
And found out
It was better that day.
I jumped up,
And I felt a star.
Heaven was near,
But still very far.
And so now I practice
And try to go higher.
Eventually I will,
But for now im just tired.

Heaven

Walk down
Grab and pull
Close up
Scent of you
Feel of you
Taste of you
Let go
Smile
Heaven

All of these were written on 10 June 2004. So of course I thought I would look them up in my LJ and see what was happening in my life during that time to see why I was so exuberant about love. And then I went on a whole trip almost into my school years. So I’ll give a quick background as to what was happening in Aram’s life at this point so you know where I was in my life.

The 10th was the day right after I had my first date with a boy ever. We went laser tagging and then we went to a private location to makeout for a little while. He wanted more, but I wasn’t willing to give it since it was only my first time. Then we felt the feel of exhilaration as we sped down the highway at over 100 mph with our windows rolled down. It was bliss.

Obviously, I was in an ecstatic moment in my life. I felt life could not get any better, and it probably hasn’t gotten much better, but it has matured. I wait for the day this feeling returns, and I feel it almost has. I am feeling close to the same emotions as I was before, but I am currently not as artistic. I can’t just sit and write poetry as I once did, instead I sit and create dance. It’s a weird feeling creating art in the presence of lust. So of course as I am in a state of lust my gay side has been flowering like crazy. Talk about sadness though. Here I was last week stating how I was going to go straight and begin working on maths and actually fixing my life, but instead now I feel like jumping off the roof and doing a dance to my grave. I feel like expressing joy in a dance that no one has ever seen before. This is the time I should have created my dance piece because it would have turned out to be very good instead of the crap it ended up being.

So now back to my question of whether or not it is worth it to go back in life and see what our past was. I think it is very good. It allows us to remember things we usually do not recall. It shows us that those good days may be few and far between, but that they are so good that they are worth striving for. It shows us who we are and how we respond to those around us. It enlightens us to see how we have changed over time, whether we have matured and learned the things we intended or even accomplished the goals that we started. So I am off to recollect on my past and see what new things I should focus on. I hope my website will eventually relaunch so that the world can share in my hopes and dreams, but until then goodbye.

With artistic license,
-Aram the Garmo

 

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Gay vs. Straight: The Resolution March 10, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 2:02 am

Last night as I was attempting to sleep I cam up with a resolution. I was tossing and turning in bed unable to produce enough tiredness in order to fall asleep when it suddenly struck me. I have finally chosen which side of the debate I will side with and I will explain my reasons for this sudden ‘epiphany’.

The main reason for the conclusion I am about to give is some videos that are on facebook. I was watching me dancing on the video app on facebook and was comparing myself with the other dancers, which a very normal thing to do as a dancer. But as I was comparing I noticed something very vital in a dancers life; I don’t dance like any of them do. I have my own rhythm and my own movements. I cannot follow and duplicate what the others in the dances could do. This may have been due to the fact that I was out of my element by doing hip-hop, lyrical, and the such, but as a contemporary dancer lyrical should have come fairly easily, and it seemed that it didn’t. That is the main basis for my decision to choose to be straight.

Now deciding to be straight has many implications as to how I want to lead my life. Although it is too late to make any major changes in my life (such as career ambitions) but it is not too late to begin my wisdom training necessary to accomplish the things I must. So being straight basically entails that I will focus more on my geeky side of life. I will spend more time in the library looking up mathematics texts and reading philosophy texts. I will also be going more into web development and figure out what new technology is working in the world. I will pursue my inner geek with such fervor that my friends may see me as a completely new person. This will mostly be true due to the fact that usually they only see the gay side of me, so this will be exciting.

Being straight does not mean that I will not have my gay moments. I will still go out and be social occasionally because I need to satisfy the gay side of me occasionally. So you can almost count my gayness almost as a hobby. Being social and dancing my heart out will be my method of exercise, since I need to exercise anyway to stay fit.

Due to this I will begin my first ambitious goals of finishing up what I started and never finished. These include (in the web world):

  • Organising my hotmail accounts into directories and keep them organised
  • Revamping my geocities website so that it is more contemporary looking and much more enjoyable to look at
  • Organise all my journals so that they are centred on one website rather that on quite a few as it currently stands
  • Organise my yahoo page so that I can use RSS feeds on the go instead of relying on my home computer for the feeds. Or somehow combine the two so that they are compatible
  • Update my profiles. Mainly: facebook, myspace, twitter, pownce, LJ, blogspot, and others

In the knowledge world these include:

  • Brushing up on my basic mathematics; differential equations and linear algebra to be specific
  • Begin looking into philosophy, starting off with Aristotle and Plato
  • Understand the topics in mathematics that I am currently studying
  • Go to mathematics lectures held for graduate students that I am allowed to show up to

These are my first goals. More will come as I finish these ones. Eventually this blog will get a facelift as suggested by how the name has already changed. Instead of being about my adventures, they will be about my thoughts. And that is all for my update for today. I am off to begin working on my first few needs.

With accomplishment,
-Aram the Garmo

 

Gay vs. Straight March 8, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 3:20 pm

Today will not be a review day. Instead I will be talking about the struggle occuring within me between straight Aram and gay Aram. So I’m sure not many people know that there are two basic version of Aram that are in constant battle. And I will first describe my two sets of personalities, and then I will try and see if I can come up with any solutions to my dillema.

I’ll start with the gay version of Aram since most people know this Aram fairly decently. Gay Aram is they dancer, creative, crazy, impulsive one. He dances during the day, watches films and tv to catch up with society, and then dances the night away getting drunk in some club, preferrably with hip hop music so he can grind. He wants to feel good and usually wants to stay on top of society. He wants to be fashionable and buys the latest outfits and tries to figure out how to look good, mainly to attract men. He follows gossip, especially celebrity gossip, and also is very social. He also watches every musical he possibly can. I think you get the picture.

The other side is the straight side of Aram. He sits and does maths during his spare time. He doesn’t care about fashion and only wears things to keep him warm. He sits and reads fantasy books in order to increase his foundational knowledge. He also tries and follows different philosophical thoughts and maintains interest in the sciences. He is very anti-social and would rather sit home by himself and learn about maths rather than go out. He plays video games during his spare time and also creates websites. I think you understand this picture also.

The conflict is, how do you live with both selfs? Some things I am easily able to compromise. In order to satisy my need to read fantasy books, and my need to follow society, I read fantasy books that everyone in society knows. For instance, currently I am reading The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. But of course certain parts of me just can’t cope with each other because they each require great deals of time in order to master which then causes me to be apathetic and doing nothing. The best example is my two basic needs in my life; to dance and to solve maths. Dancing takes a lot of training and must always be kept up. You need to wake up in the mornings and stretch and then dance a few hours during the day and also build up strength and endurance. You need to follow a healthy diet and also keep track of what your body wants. On the other hand, for maths, I need to constantly be on my toes with the latest ideas. I must read new books and new concepts in order to understand the basic foundational understanding of mathematics in order to be able to achieve any great discovery. Of course this requires reading book after book and to actually sit and do problems.

As you can probably see, these two don’t really follow well together and so I struggle. Sometimes my gay side wins and I go out and party until the sun comes up. Sometimes my straight side wins and I stay cooped up in my room reading maths and doing random problems in order to satisfy my needs. But most of the time I am in between the two extremes and don’t know what to do. I need to be active, but I need to do maths. It’s an odd combination and I don’t know how to satisfy it. That is why I usually just end up lying on my bed staring at the ceiling which doesn’t help either of the causes.

I don’t know what to do. How do you cope with having two personalities in constant conflict within your own body and being able to be successful? I wonder how DaVinci did it.

Currently Bisexual,
-Aram the Garmo

 

Review of "Latter Days" March 1, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 3:07 pm

My Reviews will now be posted on Saturdays since obviously my thursdays are shit. Even though it probably doesn’t matter cause I doubt anyone reads this :-P

Talk about an amazing gay film that is really heart-wrenching. It seems nowadays most gay based films are only about the sex, but this one takes it beyond the sex and actually produces a decent story line. It is mainly about a Mormon named Aaron Davis, who is played by the gorgeous Steve Sandvoss. Aaron, who is from Utah, is in Los Angeles completing his mission trip that all Mormons must go through. Of course Aaron is secretly gay, but being a Mormon he is not allowed to pursue these urges. The movie follows the life of Aaron. Latter Days Poster
Latter Days img Of course by coincidence, Aaron happens to move next door to an attractive gay man who happens to be very promiscuous. Christian Markelli is his next door neighbor and is played by Wes Ramsey. Christian generally sleeps around, and due to this has the idea that he can get with any man he wants. This leads to his coworkers placing a bet on him that he can’t get a mormon to give him their underwear. This makes Christian to meet his new neighbors. Aaron of course automatically likes Christian, but tells Christian he won’t do anything with him because he sleeps around and only thinks of guys for sex and not for relationships. This causes Christian to have a meltdown and to reevaluate his whole life. Christian starts to help out at a local volunteering organization where he delivers food to those who have AIDS. Through many experiences Christian grows as a human. Eventually Aaron’s other mormon roommates find out, and Aaron is sent back to Utah and is excommunicated from the church.

Being excommunicated causes great disruption in Aaron’s family which causes Aaron to attempt suicide. From there Aaron is sent to a ‘treatment facility’ in hopes that he may no longer be gay. Christian ends up finding out that Aaron has cut himself and thinks that Aaron is dead. Christian then goes to Aaron’s family and wishes his condolences and returns something that belonged to Aaron. This caused the mother to finally accept her son and to believe he truly has no choice. Then by a total miracle, Aaron finds out that Christian is not only about the sex and that he truly loved Aaron. This causes Aaron to secretly run away from the facility and go back to LA where he meets up with Christian again and they live happily ever after.

Now the good stuff. The acting in this film was mainly attrocious. I could have done better, and I am a crap actor. But they did a fairly decent job and the acting was usually not a distraction. There was also some unbelievable feats that occured which would never occur in real life, such as Christian flying to Salt Lake the day after he decides to go. The film was fairly good and was one of the few really good gay films not based on sex.

I liked the way the mother acted. She was one of the better ones. Aaron’s mother, Gladys Davis [played by Mary Kay Place], had a very emotional time. At first she had everything she wanted and all at once everything was taken from her. Through this she learned that love is what needs to be the most important thing in her life and that she can’t afford to lose her son even though she is gay. This is a fabulous dream which I think actually occurs. That even though she hates the fact he is gay, she can’t help but to love him anyway. She closely reminds me of my mother.

Christian was also a funny character. He seemed to develop the most throughout the movie. At first he was just into the sex with other gay men. This is very typical of gay men in today’s society. In order to get the guy he likes though, he must grow to be an actual human being. He has to be able to no longer be shallow and actually care about other people. Him being able to do it brings hope into my world that there are people out there who can change into better human beings. And also that nonshallow gays exist, even though they are ridiculously hard to find.

This movie moved me and made me cry at least twice. I fully recommend it to everyone who is willing to watch gay films. There is some partial porn in it, but what straight film doesn’t nowadays anyway. I loved it and hope all will watch it.

 

Review of "Dead Poet’s Society" February 21, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — thecaligarmo @ 4:40 am

Again, sorry for the lack of writing. I think I officially fail at blogging. I’ve been busy working on my dance show. I’ll be putting up pics and other things after the show is done, but for now back to my reviewing.

This movie was very artsy and had a lot of implications. One of the main reasons that interested me in this movie was the concepts on education and how try to make individuals in a school setting is looked badly upon, while conformity is what is seen as to be the perfect model. It also tackles big issues such as suicide, family issues, problems with wealth, and, of course, education.

The story begins in an academy for boys somewhere in the U.S. It starts off mainly by showing the main principles of the school. These four principles (tradition, honor, discipline, and excellence) are what create the school into what it is. The story follows the english class which has recently acquired a new teacher, John Keating (played by Robin Williams). Mr. Keating used to be a student at the academy and therefore knows the workings of the school and what usually occurs there. There are many different characters in Mr. Keating’s class. Neil Perry, played by Robert Sean Leonard, is the leader of a group of boys. Perry usually does not have a good academic record, but has plenty of extracurricular activities which he gets banned from doing by his father. Todd Anderson, played by Ethan Hawke, is a shy young boy who must live up to his older brother’s image. Todd’s older brother was valedictorian at the academy a few years prior. Knox Overstreet, played by Josh Charles, is a boy who is generally shy around women. The story follows the class as the boys learn valuable life lessons and accomplish tasks that they thought they could never do. Dead Poets Society

The story begins with the group of boys being introduced to the school that is enriched in tradition. They then get to meet their new English teacher, Mr. Keating. The boys are obviously not used to a many of Mr. Keating’s nature, because it takes them a while to take him completely seriously. Mr. Keating begins his class by giving a speech basically about a poem ‘Oh Captain, My Captain’ and how if the class dares, they may call Mr. Keating ‘Oh Captain, My Captain.’ It also then goes to another lecture in which Mr. Keating asks the class to rip out the introduction of their english books. The point of this was to get the point across that poetry should not be analysed excessively to the point that it is dry and boring, but instead poetry should be felt as the authors wanted. Mr. Keating’s main messages in class would always try and make the student’s see life in a different perspective. He did this one time by having the students stand on his desk in order to see the classroom from a different angle. He also taught lessons of nonconformity. He did this by having three students walk around in a circle and led the boys in a clap to the beat of the boys walking. He then turned around and showed how conformist they all were. He pointed out that the three boys rapidly synchronised their steps even though it was never asked of them to do it. Mr. Keating also wouldn’t let the other boys say that ‘oh I wouldn’t have done that if it was me,’ by showing them that they too had conformed by joining in on the clapping to the beat. He made them aware how easy it was to conform to the needs of society.

Mr. Keating’s unorthodox ways of teaching led the students to like his class. They even went out of their way to try and find any information they could about Mr. Keating in the old records of the school. By doing this they found out he belonged to the Dead Poet’s Society. On questioning Mr. Keating, he replied that the society was top secret and he would only reveal it to them if they would keep it hidden. He told them of how the society was based off reading poetry and gaining much pleasure in learning about love and other much things. In fact Mr. Keating describes the society’s main purpose to be to take the meaning out of life. On this Mr. Keating told them of the secret location they usually held their meetings and also slipped Neil Perry the sacred book that they used. Later on the boys would go to the meeting place, a cave near a river, at night and hold their first ever Dead Poet’s Society meeting. From here they learn to become individuals and to not allow authority to control them. From Mr. Keating’s teachings, and the ideas presented during the society meetings the boys grew into extraordinary individuals.

Knox Overstreet is taken to a dinner party where he meets the perfect girl for him. Instead of being shy about it like he normally would, Overstreet goes to her school and reads her poetry and does everything he can to try and woe her even though she has a boyfriend. Overstreet would never have done anything like this if he hadn’t had met Mr. Keating. Neil Perry decides to not listen to his father and enrols in “A Midsummer’s Night Dream.” Perry follows his dream of acting and ends up being a phenomenal actor. Neil’s dad finds out though and decides that enough is enough and that he will be taking Neil out of the academy and into military school. Due to this harsh decision Neil decides to end his life. With this tragic moment the school points all fingers at Mr. Keating and his unorthodox teachings and has him booted from the school. During his moment of leaving is when the last character learns his lesson. As Mr. Keating is leaving the classroom, Todd gains selfcourage and disobeys authority and stands on his desk and says ‘Oh Captain, My Captain,’ referring to Mr. Keating. As Todd is being yelled at by the headmaster, Todd refuses to listen and gives respect to Mr. Keating by not conforming. Eventually a number of the boys follow Todd and also join in to respect Mr. Keating and his teachings. All in all the lesson of the day was to not conform to society and to instead be your own special individual.

This movie has a lot of interesting aspects to it. One of the main aspects that I noticed is the drama within the family structure. The families portrayed in the movie are all upper class and are therefore very wealthy. But even though they have tons of money they do not spend any time with their kids. Instead they push them off to an academy and only look for them on special occasions. This makes it so that the kids do not grow up in a loving environment and have to fend for themselves. I think this is one of the worst things that could happen to a child. Children need parents to help them survive. They need the love of the parents and the knowledge that the parents are there to help them in any way. Without this knowledge the kids are forced to rely on each other which is not always the best thing to do. This causes the children to rely on other children who also may not have any idea what they are doing. This in the end could not be a very good thing for the children.

Another idea that is brought upon is suicide. I personally still don’t understand the stigma behind suicides. Yes it hurts the family and all of that, but in the end is it not the person’s right to decide when they should leave the planet? Who are we to force someone to live a miserable life if they want to end it? Yes, it is true that some people grow out of the depression, but I still don’t see the consequences in allowing suicides to occur. In either case, I think the way the suicide is handled was very poor of the academy. It was obvious that the academy was looking for any excuse to punish Mr. Keating and took this opportunity to let him go. They did not see how much he was allowing the students to grow and become individuals. Instead all they saw was that Mr. Keating was putting ‘bad’ ideas into the heads of the children and that it should not be allowed. I personally would put the blame on the father of Neil who refused to let his child have a little fun before he was forced to go into real life. Neil was getting very good marks and was also very good at his extracurriculars. I would assume most parents should be happy that their child can handle these pressures, but instead Neil’s father gets irritated. Maybe it is because his father is jealous that Neil gets to plan his own life, or maybe it is due to the fact that his father is just a cruel man, but in the end I blame the father for the suicide, not Mr. Keating.

The last topic I will discuss is the ideas on education. The academy seems to portray what most education schools are like nowadays. The students sit down and the teachers try and force knowledge upon them. The teachers try and make the students into a group and have them fit into what society wants them to be. They basically teach conformity. Mr. Keating was basically punished because he was asking his students to think for themselves. He wanted the children to allow their thoughts to flow freely and to always ask why. To not let any concept go unquestioned. To not let any conformist activity to go unnoticed. In essence he taught Carpe Diem, sieze the day. And through this his students grew to be able to accomplish things they would not have been able to do in the past. Neil, with the acting; Todd, with the standing up to authority; and Knox, with woeing a girl. I personally enjoyed the ways that Mr. Keating taught and hope to follow in his footprints.

As to how good this movie was. I personally enjoyed it very much and would recommend it mainly to other educators and also to students. I think the concepts portrayed in this film are vital to allowing a child to grow.

-Aram the Garmo